Just curious, what are you most proud of about the USA? Is it the way we kick ass all over the world? Man, those aircraft carriers are amazing. Maybe the way we now torture suspected enemies to keep ourselves safe and sound? Or, is it the fact that we are free to express ourselves openly and creatively as long as we don’t differ with the powers that be? Do we love the USA because the people stand up for what is right and come to the aid of the underdog? Hmmm, let’s see, when was the last time that actually happened?

Say, is that a trick question?

When did it ever happen? Maybe I’m confusing that with a John Wayne movie. Oh boy, I’m dating myself big time.

You try. Think of a reason you love the USA and are so proud of being an American that you want the whole world to know it. Send me your answer. Help me overcome this bout of cynicism.

Is it a particular freedom you enjoy? Is it knowing that you are innocent until proven guilty in an open court of law? Nah, can’t be. That freedom was one of the first to go with the Bush war on terror. You aren’t feeling terrorized are you? See, there was a reason to give that one up. Besides, you’re law abiding, so why worry, right? Like next time you are stopped for speeding, see what happens. You don’t mind invasive interrogation tactics do you? Well then, you’ll be just fine.

Or, is it your freedom of religion that you are proud to enjoy. You know, the right to believe in the faith of your choice unless of course it is one of them furriner fates like atheism or Islam – they’re just a bunch of terrorists anyway right? Try walking down the street with a t-shirt that says “love one another and live in peace” written in Arabic. See how those stares burrowing into you feel as you walk along minding your own business.

Let’s see, is it knowing that in America you have the best medical treatment on Earth? After all you are paying more for it than anyone else in the world. What, you’re not covered? You can’t afford it? You must be joking, doesn’t being American mean you enjoy the highest standard of living in the world? Doesn’t that include medical care? A living wage? Lifelong education? A decent retirement? What did you say about your 401(k) tanking with the Internet bubble and now again with the housing bubble? What, you ‘re kidding me, right? You can count on social security right? Nooo? Whoa, where did you say you are from?

Okay, let’s see, you are fighting in Iraq to defend your country against terrorists, right? Yeah, right, of course, fight ‘em there so you don’t have to fight ‘em here. Let’s add it up: that is 4,000 American lives; at least 100,000 Iraqi lives; encouraging a entirely new terrorist network in defense of THEIR homeland, and you only spend $500+ billion to do so. And, let’s see, Afghanistan had its biggest poppy crop in 2007 which, as you know, ends up in the veins of Americans and Europeans; illegal immigrants, including terrorist sleepers, can enter the country at will; and, you still buy the Bush mantra that he needs to destroy the economy, decimate social spending, destroy two countries, and institute a police state, all for your protection? Have you seen how many people are poor in America? How many are hungry? How many are sick? How many are functionally illiterate? How many are on the brink of bankruptcy?

Let’s try again. Tell me, what are you most proud of about America? Do not include the fact that your President, for the first time in history, has demanded the right to use torture as a way of protecting you against a terrorist attack. Remember all those drugs and illegals? Terrorizing you is easy. And just look at all the cops and security personnel. Look at all the illegal wiretapping. You are living in a country reduced to fearing its shadow.

Okay, let’s go over it once more. What are you most proud of to be an American. Is it the video-spying New England Patriots? The steroid taking baseball players? The drug abused Hollywood stars? The overpaid corporate CEOs whose salaries per day equal the annual take home pay of their workers?

I want to know. Send me your list before I go completely crazy. Remind me of what I’ve been missing.

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